Pennsylvania, if I didn't know you before, I feel I know you so much better, now. Even after I-don't-know-how-many weeks of looking at ridiculous animal laws, you still surprised me with your creativity. Let's get to it:
• In Tarentum, horses are not to be tied to parking meters. Even if I put money in the meter?
• In Pittsburg, it is illegal to bring a donkey or a mule onto a trolley car. But what if the donkey or mule is a service animal. There must be exceptions, right?
• In Millville, one may not shoot any dog that is found wandering the streets. Well, that's a relief. Sheesh.
• Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. This seems totally reasonable, right? I wonder if long haul truck drivers get extra pay for this. It would be tough to cover one of those mammoth vehicles.
• Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait ten minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. So now my trunk has to hold a cammo blanket in every possible shade plus a whole mess of rocket signals? Where will I put my groceries?
• Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land. But what if I plan to shoot the fish?
• Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. Another brilliant idea, shot down by a ridiculous law (no pun intended).
• You may not catch a fish with your hands or any body part except the mouth. And if you cheat, we'll tie your hands behind your back.
• It is illegal to taunt a police dog. Duh.
• It is unlawful to shoot a reptile. What did he ever do to you?
• In Harrisburg, it's illegal to keep a poisonous creature. By all means, set them free so the masses can enjoy them, too.
• It's illegal to assault honey bees with a dangerous biological agent. Does this mean it's okay to assault humans and other creatures with a dangerous biological agent? Save the bees!
• It is illegal to slaughter a cow with a hammer. As it should be. Seriously? Do we have to spell out every gruesome form of animal cruelty imaginable, or can we just treat animals with kindness?
• In Shippensburg, it's a crime to feed the ducks. Another childhood pastime ripped out of our grasp.
• It is a crime to shoot a big game animal while it is swimming. Wait until it comes up for air. It's an easier shot.
• It is illegal to hunt in a cemetery. It is, after all, a place for quiet reflection. Do we really need to spell this out?
• Dogs can't be used to hunt game, except for turkeys. Because we wouldn't want to wreck Thanksgiving over a silly hunting law.
• It's illegal to use goldfish as bait. They are way too cute!
• It's illegal to keep pigeons. Especially poisonous ones.
• It's illegal to give away animals as a prize. But what better way to get rid of the poisonous creatures we can't keep? Pennsylvanians need to think this through.
Join us next week when we take a look at Rhode Island.
Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.