We only have a few more weeks of Silly State Law Saturday to go. I feel like I was getting used to these ridiculous laws. Then came Tennessee.
• "Crimes against nature" are prohibited. I will not throw stones at birds. I will not throw stones at birds. I will not throw stones at birds...
• Stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. Perhaps if you hop on that horse, you can outrun the law.
• It is illegal to gather and consume roadkill. I think I just threw up a little.
• You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. Correct me if I'm wrong: Automobiles can't go in water. Whales are in water. Water is not in Tennessee.
• It is illegal to use a lasso to catch fish. Yee-haw. Shucks. No roadkill, and now no lassoed fish? What the heck am I supposed to eat?
• The definition of "dumb animal" includes every living creature. Huh?
• Skunks may not be carried into the state. Simple work around for this one: get a leash, and he can walk across the border himself. Duh.
• In Knoxville, all businesses must have a hitching post in front of their buildings. Doesn't this just give the horse thieves easier access?
• In Lenior County, when you pull up to a stop sign, you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming. Because, once again, the purr of a car engine is much more frightening to the equines than is a gunshot.
• In Memphis, it is illegal for frogs to croak after 11 p.m. If I was in law enforcement, that's the security gig I'd want.
• In Nashville, no person may keep a cheetah as a pet. Sweet! I can keep my panther.
• Any person crippling, killing, or in any way destroying a proud female dog that is at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction. So I guess if the bitch has low self esteem, we're held liable?
• It is illegal to own an albino deer. Where do you even find one of those? Tennessee, I guess.
• It is a crime to cast the rays of a spotlight or headlight on a deer. Especially if it's an albino.
• Dove-baiting is a crime. These hunting laws make no sense to me.
• Using batteries to kill a fox is a crime. Because that's an efficient method.
• Snake-handling that endangers one's life is a crime. I'm thinking one may not realize this until it's too late.
• Using dynamite to catch fish is illegal, and each fish caught is a separate crime. I'm no pyro, but after seeing this law in a few states now, I'm beginning to wonder how dynamite works under water. I'll ponder.
• It is illegal to hunt animals from a plane. Especially baited doves and albino deer. Better to shoot those from a water-ready automobile.
• Training coon dogs is limited to certain parts of the year. So not only is there a hunting season, there's a training-for-hunting season?
• One hunting big game, except wild turkeys, must wear at least 500 inches of fluorescent orange clothing. Well, I guess that means my florescent orange bikini is out.
We'll see you back again next week when we take a look at Texas!
Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.