Thanks so much for joining us for another round of Silly State Law Saturday. New Yorkers–especially those in the city–are known for their eccentricities. They make no mistake about that in their animal laws.
• It is illegal to sell the fur of a cat. Apparently dog fur is a-okay. And what if it's just Furminated and not attached to skin? Can we sell that? I've always wanted a cat-fur sweater. A-choo!
• Tampering with a horse's tail earns you a year in jail. This makes me wonder about braids and bows. And general grooming. Plus, I don't know if you've ever messed with a horse's behind, but it usually earns you a swift kick in the ass. Never mind jail time.
• Anyone harboring a reptile must insure public safety. I think New Yorkers may have watched Godzilla one to many times. Perhaps they should be more worried about primates.
• It is a crime to harm a seeing-eye dog. Isn't it a crime to harm any dog? I mean, three cheers for the service animals, but do we need this special designation?
• In Brooklyn, donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs. This is a pattern. No donkeys in bathtubs in major cities. We get it. Thanks.
• In New York City, it is illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car. I haven't been to New York City in YEARS, but I can't recall ever seeing a trolley car. Or a rabbit. Or a hunter.
• In New York City, you can teach your pet parrot to speak, but not to squawk. Because he naturally knows that. It's insulting to the parrot.
• In New York City, littering streets with dead animals and offal is a crime. I had to look up the word "offal." Perhaps this is a common word, and I'm the only one that is clueless, but if any of you out there are wondering like I was, offal is "the entrails and internal organs of an animal." Lovely. This law will really deter those trolley-riding rabbit shooters.
• In New York City, it is illegal to dye a rabbit. Even if you take him to a fancy salon?
• In New York City, it is a crime to dye a baby chick. I have a feeling Easter in New York City is all kinds of fun.
• In New York City, it's illegal to clip the ear of a dog. Very well.
• In New York City, it is a crime to own an odd-toed ungulate or aardwolf. My son, Porter, taught me the word ungulate when he was two, so, proudly, I didn't have to look that one up, but I'm betting at least one of you doesn't know that word. Ungulate means "hoofed animal." But an odd-toed ungulate? Does that mean an ungulate with only one toe or three or seventeen is not permitted, but those with two or four are welcome. I'm going to have to do some more research on this, but I'm calling discrimination. And what about the aardwolf. Yeah, had to look that up. Turns out it's a "nocturnal black-striped African mammal of the hyena family, feeding mainly on termites." I'm thinking if New Yorkers thought outside the box and brought back the aardwolf, they could solve their pest control problems naturally. Oh, wait a second. Perhaps he is an odd-toed ungulate and therefore definitely out of the question. I'll get back to you on that.
Join us next week when we travel down south to North Carolina.
Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.